Maybe you know exactly what’s going wrong in your life. Maybe you have no idea. Take a look below to see if you can relate.
Everyday has become a struggle. Your energy levels are notably low. That makes it difficult to not only get up and face the day but to just complete the most basic tasks. Activities that used to make you happy or at least bring you some sort of joy now seem lame or not worth the effort. You find yourself pulling away from others, isolating yourself from friends or colleagues. You often find yourself questioning the point of it all and maybe you’ve even wished that you didn’t have to wake up each day. The hardest part about being in such a funk is pulling yourself out of it. That negative mood often creeps in gradually, almost to the point where you don’t realize anything has changed. You might be able to look back at other times in your life, and think – well, I was happy then, but it’s hard to identify what exactly changed.
When you’re in this state it can be very hard to build up the strength to reach out for help. Motivation and energy are at a low point and you may feel beyond help. I try to make it as easy as possible. You don’t even have to call – with a few clicks, you can book yourself a consult right from the comfort of your spot on the couch.
Excessive Worry/ Anxiety
You’re exhausted. You can’t get your brain to just shut up for a minute. Every little thing sets off a cascade of thoughts, reminding you of how awful everything is, how everything will likely end is some form of disaster or another. You logically knew this wasn’t the case, but then 2020 happened, and frankly who knows anymore. All you know is that it feels like your body is in a constant state of panic. Every muscle gets tense. Your head feels like it pounding and swirling at the same time. You swear it feel like your heart is going to explode from the stress of it all. You question in there’s something wrong with you. You question if you’re dying. You question everything. You can’t sleep because who can relax with a brain shouting at you all the time. It’s getting in the way of your relationships. It’s getting in the way of doing work. It feels like you’ll be stuck like this for over which then just brings on another wave of panic.
You’ve struggled with food or body image issues for as long as you can remember. You can clearly remember the first time you felt like your body was inadequate and so much of your time and energy since then has been devoted to changing. Making it smaller. More toned. More rounded in all the right spots. Flatter in all the right spots. Maybe you’ve already tried going to extreme lengths for the body you want, but no matter what you have changed, what hasn’t changed is your feeling towards your body: still not good enough. You find that your thoughts constantly focus on either food or your body, or the relationship between the two. You’re fed up. You want out of this mess. You want out of the cycle of obsession and guilt. But you don’t know how.
Relationships are like a dance. When they’re working, you are fully in sync with another human. You feel connected. You feel supported. You feel heard. Unfortunately, life happens and we get out of pace with each other. Instead of feeling in tune with one another, you feel like you’re completely out of step. You find yourself trapped in this way of interacting with one another, picking at one another flaws and reopening the same wounds over and over and over again. It’s exhausting. It’s draining. You want something more, for yourself and for your relationship.
Trauma affect everyone differently. What may seem mildly stressful to one person, could be catastrophic to another. You can’t predict your own reaction to adverse life experiences. Maybe you look back at your life and think “Pft, that wasn’t that bad. I’m alive, aren’t I? Others have had it way worse.” But still. You can’t seem to shake the feeling. You still feel affected by what did happen. No matter what you tell yourself, your body seems to have a mind of it’s own: you’re on edge, startling easily, overreacting to the smallest things, the flashes back to when you were still there. And then, it feels like you are there. Back in that same situation. Afraid. Alone. Helpless. You’re starting to notice that maybe what happened to you in the past is actually still impacting you in the present. You have trouble investing in relationships, always assuming they’re going to end in pain. It’s hard to trust, in others, in yourself, in the idea that everything will turn out okay.
Going into moving you abroad, you likely anticipated some of the headaches that you would be facing. You’d be away from family and friends, you’d have to deal with traditions and customs you’re not familiar with, and things would just feel different. And while there are many positives to this life you’ve made for yourself, you still don’t quite feel settled and the transition is proving harder than you expected. And harder still is not having the support systems in place to lean on when you need that support. Friends and family are great, and facetime/skype/whatsapp/ whatever else can make distances not feel as far, but that sometimes even the most well meaning of friends don’t quite understand what this life is like, and the amount of sacrifice it takes on a regular basis to keep it going. Add COVID into the mix, and now not only are you away from your support system, you have to try to keep it together while your host country muddles its way through some sort of response.